❤️💕 Valentine’s Day will be harder than any other holiday this year.

Today I walked past the Valentine’s card section for the first time since losing Ricky… and I wasn’t prepared for how hard that would be. 💔 Valentine’s Day will be harder than any other holiday this year.

The firsts are always the hardest. This is the first time in 30 years that I won’t be picking out a card for my husband.

Ricky was the card giver. He always took his time reading every single one until he found the perfect card — the one that said what he sometimes couldn’t put into words himself. I have 30 years’ worth of cards that hold his love, his heart, and his sentiments. And the way he signed them… I always knew he meant every word.

Today, as I walked by that section, for a split second — just a brief moment — I forgot. I forgot he wasn’t here. It was always my tradition to get his card whenever I saw that section, and today I almost did. I looked anyway… and with tears welling up in my eyes, I couldn’t settle on a single card for him.

I know they were there… but my eyes just couldn’t land on one — one that said “husband.” And honestly, I believe that was God protecting my heart in that moment. When we place our lives in His hands, He carries us — even through the hard moments that catch us off guard, in the middle of an aisle in a busy store.

It’s been almost six months since I last saw him. Some days it feels like just yesterday… and some days it feels like a lifetime.

But I know Ricky is still with me. I see it in the little signs — a song, something in a store, a memory that shows up right when I need it. And I’m so grateful for those reminders.

My heart still loves just as strongly. And I know God has never left my side — not for one moment — and He never will.

Until the day Ricky and I are reunited again…

I love you forever, my forever Valentine. ❤️💞