Fifteen months.

Fifteen months. 457 days without you. 

Learning to walk through grief every single day is a journey I never wanted to take.

I truly believe the second year is harder than the first, at least for me. That first year was such a blur of shock, disbelief, and simply going through the motions. So many firsts to get through, all while trying to understand how life could change so suddenly.

But the second year feels different. The shock has faded, and the reality of your absence has settled in even deeper.

It's waking up each morning knowing you're not coming home from work. It's missing the ordinary conversations, the laughter, and the comfort of simply knowing you were there. It's realizing, over and over again, that the person I shared my everyday life with is no longer here.

That's the grief I carry every single day.

I am learning to live a life I never imagined without you in it. Some days I manage better than others, and some days the missing is just overwhelming.

But through it all, God continues to carry me. Even on the days when I don't understand this journey, I trust that He is walking beside me.

I will always be grateful for the thirty years we shared, for the love you gave me, and for the memories that are now some of my greatest treasures.

Loving you was easy. Learning how to live without you is the hardest thing I've ever had to do.

Fifteen months later, I'm still learning. Still missing you. Still loving you.

Forever loved. Forever missed.

Love you forever, RDW. ❤️🕊️